© rosefeather

In which I go on about my love for the end of Showtime

I just saw the end scene of Showtime so many times in a row that I lost count, but oh god, I love that scene. I had some thoughts (okay it’s really mainly flail over the wonderfulness that is that scene but anyway) and they’re behind the read more because they got a bit long. 

First we have Spike, putting up his bravado in front of Buffy, because he things he’s the First, and because he has to be strong because she believes in him. Even though he’s so tired, so beaten up, he still tries to put up this big front. Buffy keeps her hard face, because that’s who she is this season, she is general Buffy, and she can’t afford to show her feelings, can’t risk anything, because everything depends on her. 

You can see the confusion in Spike’s face when she starts cutting the ropes, and then his hand falls down on her shoulder, and it falls down hard. It’s almost like this is the last he’ll do, the last straw. He’s putting his whole weight on that shoulder, and if it would’ve been the first he would’ve fallen, maybe to not get back up again (except I think he would, because Spike always gets back up. Always). But he doesn’t fall. Because she’s there to support him. She came for him. 

Buffy slowly looks up, and for this one moment, this tiny moment, her resolve breaks, and her emotions shine through, she lets him see. You can see the love shining through her eyes and her mouth seems to be just on the edge of a smile. Spike has this amazed look, because for all his conviction towards the first, he didn’t believe she’d come. He makes this little half smile with a sigh of relief, and she sort of raises her chin because she’s proud of him, because she trusted him not to give in, and he didn’t. To me, it’s so clear that she loves him in that moment, when her relief is so clear, and her faith in him was wellplaced, and damn, I don’t know how she does it, but her eyes get shiny and big and so full of love. 

Then Spike makes these noises, sighs, of relief and amazement which does funny things to my heart, and then he puts his weight on her shoulders, because both of them knows that right know, she can take that. Later, when it’s she who needs to be relieved of her weight he does it for her, but right know, he needs him, and he knows this, and he’s so relieved to see her. He doesn’t care about being saved by a girl, it doesn’t mean anything to him. He’s saved by his hero. It’s something I admire of him, that he knows that things will be alright when he comes, that he doesn’t keep up this facade of being alright, that he allows himself to lean on her when he’s weak and he knows she can take it. 

You can see Buffy’s mask, her resolve, falling place again as she turns away, and it hurts me that she feels like she needs to lock her feelings away. It does make the moments when she lets that mask fall more important though, the moments when she dares to expose her vulnerability, when she just can’t help but not to. In this case, it’s so important for both of them to do this. For Buffy to feel love, and to feel proud, and feel like she’s done something good. And for Spike, so he can see that yes, she cares, and not just because he’s a good fighter, but because he is who he is. 

Obviously, I love this scene. I love it so so so much. So many of my favorite moments with them are when they don’t talk, because they always communicate so much more clearly then, with all their feelings hanging in the open. Both SMG and JM are so good at the speechless acting, and the emotions they need to convey just with their faces, and I’m forever grateful to them for bringing Buffy and Spike to life with it.

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